He is good..

So it turns out his little "I nee new shoes" trick works for other stuff, and he knows it. I was in the toothpaste aisle. He asked for a new toothbrush, but I bought a 5 pack last week for him so I said no. He started crying saying his teef would fall out because he no brush teef!!

Yes, he got a toothbrush, but only because there was someone else in the aisle giving me the evil eye.

can I soak him in bleach?

ugh. So, bryce was playing in the sink earlier. He said he was giving his "guys" (toys) a bath. didn't think anything of it, the sink was running, he brought soap out so I could dispense it. All kinda normal. He came out with a towel drying the guys, and shirtless. He informed me it was in bathroom and soaked. Again, no biggie. I just went in bathroom. The floor is soaked, the stool is by toilet, and the thing that scares me the worst- the plunger is soaked and by sink. Do I wake him up to bath him now or hope the soap I dispensed was enough to fix whatever he did and that is was dispensed after his plunger play time??

New shoes again?

It has been a few weeks without a cry for shoes. It has been nice. It ended today. While walking through the store it starts. "i need shoes." no you don't. "my feet hurt" no they don't. I NEED shoes!! Dees no fit!!" Yes they do. they are new. Normally, this keeps going until I am so embarrassed by looks I am getting by people concerned about my poor baby's feet. Luckily, the store was almost empty, the one woman behind me was laughing, so I new it was safe. HA! I won this battle.

Then I had to explain why I wasn't buying his imaginary friend a toy as well as him. Same lady- completely ROFL. Then she came up and said, "good luck"

Thanks?

It is like he read my mind.

He really wanted to play chase. I really didn't. I tickled him and said in a minute. Then I hear a giggle and a yell from couch, "mommy, I have your book!"

And we played chase, until my book was safe.

Well, he gets it.

I spent the morning warning him when we went to Target, he will not get a toy. I explained that toys cost money, and we can't spend that money everyday on toys.

I pick him up from school, he gets in car and says, "mommy, you have money?"

"yes, sweetie, a little."

"like 5, 10, 16?"

"Kind of"

"daddy have a little too?"

"a little, yes"

"yay!! I can have toy!"

HRMPH!

How tall am i

Bryce found my tape measure. He pulled it out, measured his dad. Then looked at him and said, "um, your old."

Sorry world, sorry.

Bryce and I were playing memory. He kept telling me the phone and monkey match. After trying to convince him thy do not- he pointed out the phone had a tiny picture of the monkey on it. He wins. This is not looking good for my future, or his teachers.

The kid is good. Ugh,

We walked into Target today, Jason Wu line was out! But, while I am figuring out what I can justify, Bryce throws himself on the floor. Why? Because he wants shoes. He starts saying, "ouch, they hurt, my feet hurt! Shoes hurt! Need new shoes!" (I bought these shoes a week ago and he has worn them with no complaint ever since) So, we go to the shoes and pick out some more. I mean, what else could I do. I was already getting the disapproving evil eye from other shoppers. Then he refused to walk, and I refused to carry him. He is 40+ pounds- yes, barely 3 years old. So I put him in the cart. As soon as he got the shoes, he smiles and says, " tank you mommy. Do u love me?" Seriously? I must or I would have left your a*s barefoot while I kept shopping! For the record- this is not the first time he has pulled the "my shoes hurt" trick to get a new pair. But really? You can't not get a new pair, the entire store can hear him, and you can't claim money problems when you are buying yourself guest designer shirts you must have, need or not.

OK, I will wait.

Bryce it is time for a nap.

"I pick my nose first, just a second."

That, right there, is good parenting!

Just stole a couple of Bryce's French fries, he looked at me and said, "you helpings eat dinner?"
Me, "sure"
Bryce," thank you mommy. "

Art

On way home from preschool, he says, "I made something for you!"

me, "you did?"

b, "yup"

me, "good!"

While I am driving, I reach back to grab the colorful paper being waved around. It is a scholastic book form.

me. "you made this?"

B, "yup, you like it?"

me, "um, I love it?"

I miss the nice monster

Right before bed, when I give him a 5 minute warning, he yells " I no go to bed, I monkey. Jungle no bed time!"

What happened to nice monster?

Please, just let me rest.

Trying to rest until I can take more meds for this stupid cold....

So that was a fail. As soon as I closed my eyes, I felt something. A plastic saw on my leg and heard the singing, "I cutting mommy"

Was scared to close my eyes again.

Monster

I am a monster! A nice monster!

You will not infect me!!

The worst part of Bryce being sick? Following him around with clorox wipes to clean everywhere he has wiped boogers. The actual cold hasn't slowed him down at all- it may have even given him some kind of super power:P

scariest moment in my life, to date.

Up watching TV before kids are up. I hear Bryce moving around but no calls for help.

Then I heard it. The most terrifying thing ever! "eeeeeewwwwwwwww! GGGGGrrrrrrrooooooossssssss!"

So, I did what every good mom would do, I ignored it until his dad got up to take care of it:)

what?

"Bryce, please help me clean u your toys"

"I can't my hands are cold"

Afraid

Bryce just came out of bathroom, soap pump in hand and asked for some. After a few minutes he came out again, shirtless, and soaking wet. I don't want to see what happened to the bathroom.

He is honest

Bryan, "Bryce, what are you doing with that finger in your nose?"

Bryce, "Getting the boogey out"

oh helz no

Yes, this title has been used, and in writing about Bryce, I am sure it will be a consistent title.

He just stole my iPhone out of my hand. I tried explaining it was mine, and I was using it. OK, so I wasn't that mature about it, but whatever, I am dealing with a 2 year old. So as I am trying to get it back, bryce looks at me and says, "relax, mom. relax."

Seriously?