Just stole a couple of Bryce's French fries, he looked at me and said, "you helpings eat dinner?"
Me, "sure"
Bryce," thank you mommy. "
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Art
On way home from preschool, he says, "I made something for you!"
me, "you did?"
b, "yup"
me, "good!"
While I am driving, I reach back to grab the colorful paper being waved around. It is a scholastic book form.
me. "you made this?"
B, "yup, you like it?"
me, "um, I love it?"
Monday, January 23, 2012
I miss the nice monster
Right before bed, when I give him a 5 minute warning, he yells " I no go to bed, I monkey. Jungle no bed time!"
What happened to nice monster?
Please, just let me rest.
Trying to rest until I can take more meds for this stupid cold....
So that was a fail. As soon as I closed my eyes, I felt something. A plastic saw on my leg and heard the singing, "I cutting mommy"
Was scared to close my eyes again.
Was scared to close my eyes again.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
You will not infect me!!
The worst part of Bryce being sick? Following him around with clorox wipes to clean everywhere he has wiped boogers. The actual cold hasn't slowed him down at all- it may have even given him some kind of super power:P
Friday, January 20, 2012
scariest moment in my life, to date.
Up watching TV before kids are up. I hear Bryce moving around but no calls for help.
Then I heard it. The most terrifying thing ever! "eeeeeewwwwwwwww! GGGGGrrrrrrrooooooossssssss!"
So, I did what every good mom would do, I ignored it until his dad got up to take care of it:)
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Afraid
Bryce just came out of bathroom, soap pump in hand and asked for some. After a few minutes he came out again, shirtless, and soaking wet. I don't want to see what happened to the bathroom.
He is honest
Bryan, "Bryce, what are you doing with that finger in your nose?"
Bryce, "Getting the boogey out"
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
oh helz no
Yes, this title has been used, and in writing about Bryce, I am sure it will be a consistent title.
He just stole my iPhone out of my hand. I tried explaining it was mine, and I was using it. OK, so I wasn't that mature about it, but whatever, I am dealing with a 2 year old. So as I am trying to get it back, bryce looks at me and says, "relax, mom. relax."
Seriously?
good excuse
Go get a diaper, you stink.
No, I can't reach.
Get up and walk.
I can't, my feet are broken.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
What?
Bryce, you can't have your "new" remote buzz lightyear on the table. It will fall off.
Bryce, put it on floor or I take it away.
Bryce, now.
"OK! dammit!"
ummm, what did you say?
"DAMMIT"
that is not nice.
"oh- Ok"
yes, Santa lives in the basement
While working on cleaning the basement, I found some age appropriate toys for Bryce. We had hid them years ago when his brother out grew them. I brought up a clear tote full. Bryce walked in from school, saw the tote and yelled, "look more christmas presents for me!!"
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
again, with the survival skills
While visiting a friend, Bryce informs me he is hungry. I let him know we will go get lunch after we leave. He says, he wants chicken and french fries. No problem, we will get some on way home. He yells, "now!"
Me, " just a minute we need to say goodbye."
he disappears.
he returns with a big bag of frozen french fries from friend's freezer, hands them to me and again says, "now."
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Respect
I am here for your every request. Either to comply or squash it, but yes, at this age that is my job. But, I will demand some level of respect in the process. I understand I wipe your poop and clean your vomit, but a please and thank you goes a long way.
So this morning as he is yelling for juice! I say, "please talk to me like I am human."
His response, "JUICE! HUMAN, I WANT JUICE!"
Monday, January 9, 2012
sleeping?
by the sounds of a not so tiny voice singing, "batman, luv you, batman, joker, batmaaaannnnn"
my guess is no.
crumbs?
Aidan has complained a few times today about crumbs on stairs. My response has been, "If the dogs don't beat me to it, I will clean it up later."
Taking Bryce to bed, I realized the crumbs were more like mountains of squished crackers on each step the entire length of the steps. Bryce sees them and says, "oh no!"
me, "what happened?"
Bryce, "I did it"
We finally work around all the potentially dangerous piles. Once in his room I notice even more "crumbs" covering his floor. When I question him, his only response is, " can't sleep in mess, clean it mommy!"
Umm, no! I sleep around his mess regularly, and as soon as he is up, the dogs will go inspect and "clean" for me.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Friday, January 6, 2012
relaxing
so, while trying to nap, bryce "brushed my hair" tried opening my eyes so he could kiss the insides, and picked my nose.
on a lighter note, Bryan has taught him to say, "yes commander daddy"
Thursday, January 5, 2012
alarm
Bryce just pulled chair up to alarm box, and started pushing buttons. I am going to apologize now for the waste in tax payers dollars
youtube needs parental controls
Before telling ur 2 yr old he can watch one more YouTube video, make sure there is not a 2 hr option
permanent damage
Trying to put Bryce to bed at friend's house. Note to self- check closets for door opening cats. Hope he forgets and sleeps!
looking out for my future
Bryan is lighting fire, we told bryce to stay away because it hurts. He says, "hurt santa?" no bryce we turn it off when santa comes, his response, "just get him banaid"
need another job to pay for groceries
bryce realizes I can't make him nap while he is hungry. I have watched him eat half a cheese sandwich, a entire pack of easy mac, most of a hamburger bun with cheese and fruit snacks. Really? This is the opposite of most eating disorders.
doesn't appreciate the classics
So, found the one song Bryce will not dance to. Erasure, Blue Savannah. He would yell, "no stop it! STOP IT!"
love the innocence.
I guess bryce thought he had to pick what toy to keep. He kept saying "I no open that, I like dis one." Once he realized he keeps them all, "yay! I love toys! toys, toys, toys!!"
Christmas morning disappointment
First thing out of Bryce's mouth- "reindeer here!" um, no son that isn't what happens.
conections
Darling little boys- Christmas eve is not the time to start throwing fits- I have santa's cell# and I will use it!!!
hoping to make up for the rest of year.
Santas email to boys:) Bryce is yelling I am nice! I miss you, come see me!!
good to know people
Hmm- Bryce's popularity at Kroger has gone far. He was given Xmas gift by sweet staff! But I enjoy the fact that I don't wait in line, they opened a register jjuust for us. I think I will keep him!
fair deal
bryce just came and handed me a flashlight. I said thanks, he took my phone and said, "Now it mine!" ugh...
no one is safe
"Zurg" is attacking my xmas village. Not sure I will intervene.
Bryan, "what is zurg doing to the village?"
Bryce, "sending FIRE"
Bryan, "what is zurg doing to the village?"
Bryce, "sending FIRE"
arm yourselves
too tired to remember names
It seems the short creatures have made their move. The revolt has started. The small one woke up at 3:45, the furry short ones soon joined in. They seem to share the ultimate goal of driving the adult "leaders" of the house insane so they may take over. Reinforcements are needed.
run
bryce just came at me with safety goggles, a toy saw and a wrench, and said, I doctor, you sicky. Umm- hellz no!
can i get an RX for that?
7 a.m. Bryce has knight's helmet and frisbee and growling at his dad. How do u bottle that kind of awesome?
can't be fooled
Bryce informed me, that is Santa at store doesn't have reindeer or a sleigh, "Dat not Santa!" hmmm.
again, a future with a toga
Just saw a pier 1 commercial, I just realized where Bryce learned the chant, "party. Party. PARTY!" he did it this morning, I was worried he found the joy on his own. Phew.
keep your friends close...
Bryce, "I no like nucrackers. Badguys, bailey need eat them."
Hmm- remind me to stay on his good side, and not leave him alone with the nutcrackers.
Hmm- remind me to stay on his good side, and not leave him alone with the nutcrackers.
changing the workout
So my dance party workout turned into a slow jog when Bryce stole my iPod and I spent the next 20 minutes chasing him round in circles.
can't find me
bryce is hiding from naptime. But while in his hiding spot he is yelling "no nap ever ever." He needs to work on his skills.
family order
Bryan told Aidan, we are home, you are not the king. Bryce yells, "Yes, I am the King!!"
oh that boy...
oh that boy...
not the best way to start the day
Bryce-"ow! I just fell, I all wet!" where did you fall?
"in water" what water?-
"dog pee" great.
"in water" what water?-
"dog pee" great.
already such a man
Bryce's grandma asked what he was doing for thanksgiving. His answer, "eating!" at 2 he is already figuring it out, now to add the thankful part in:)
it is a jungle out there
May need a new nickname for Bryce. He keeps telling me he is not a person, he is a monkey. He is getting very upset when I try to explain.
sweet?
Bryce got upset tonight, when I said I was going to see my friends. His concern was that I would see "the baby" without him. My friend with a baby watched him for me yesterday. She is now his. This is the same baby he almost strangled trying to kidnap a few weeks ago. Her dad may permanently separate them. "dat my baby, dat my girl."
don't we all
bryce, "I nee money, I nee money."
me, "why"
Bryce, "cause I nee it."
The money in question is lego money, but still:)
me, "why"
Bryce, "cause I nee it."
The money in question is lego money, but still:)
how can you argue with that logic
Bryce, did you spill dog food all over the floor?
Yes- it ok, dogs eat it.
Nice.
Yes- it ok, dogs eat it.
Nice.
my house has been invaded
It is a twilight zone kind of night. Bryce tasted broccoli- gagged, but hey he tried. Then Aidan convinced him to eat ham and potatoes, followed by Aidan reading a book to him! If I am asleep, don't wake me!!
payback
To the geniuses who keep the howling dog outside- you dog is howling because it is cold. Take it in. I will find your number and start calling letting it ring only once every time I hear ur dog, every time my dog or kids wake up I will call until you answer and let u listen to my kid yelling and dog barking!
picky, picky
Pumpkin patch with bryce- ended up with 4 big, 3 baby- he went through all of them! The rejects were too orange, too icky and too wet:)
don't mess with me
bailey barked, bryce jumped. Bryce walked over to bailey's ear and screamed.
Then said, "see, i scared you."
Then said, "see, i scared you."
will pay for that
Bryce just said, "I wuv ur hair, berry nice." yes, I did give him chocolate for that! Haven't showered since yesterday- he knows how to work me.
the cost of illness
Bryce has been wonderful as I spent most of today on couch with sinus headache. My house may never recover, toys will probably be lost forever, but he has let me lay here.
is halloween over yet?
Friday I bought the last Captain Merica costume in Bryce's size. Today he declares he will be "crocdile" and roar bad guys and chocolate in buckit.
truth
talking to bryce about all things halloween, he is a scary pump(kin) and I am scary witch. Hmmm- seems fitting.
part ninja, part elephant
Bryce saw our Halloween decorations, and after a couple of "hiya" kicks he grabbed a bucket and asked for chocolate. Guess he remembers?
ugh
Bailey woke bryce up at 5. SInce then is has been almost 3 hours of crying, whining, and barking. THen there was Bryce's behavior:) Neep Nap!!
smart boy
Come home to find Bryce and Bryan frantically looking for captain America car. I hand Bryce the only one we have, not the one he wants. I tell him it is only one we have. His response- go to target.
smart boy
Come home to find Bryce and Bryan frantically looking for captain America car. I hand Bryce the only one we have, not the one he wants. I tell him it is only one we have. His response- go to target.
long road ahead
Bryce is completely unwilling to go to the bathroom. He sat on it a few times yesterday, with the promise of candy, now he understands candy is only when he goes. He claims he "no like candy" if you have seen him eat, you know this is a lie. This is going to suck.
fashion guru
oops, Bryan just realized Bryce has another new pair of sunglasses. I can't help it, the kid is stylish. He may have as many sunglasses as Rachel Zoe.
liberal parent
Bryce is very proud, he keeps saying, "I go school, I get tattoo!" a brief glimpse at my future. Good thing I like tattoos!
need more coffee
not even 8, bryce has already changed his shirt and is now chasing aidan with a sword.
no mrs. clever
Bryce might need a different domestic model. He is opening up his play oven yelling, " oh no! Fire in dare!" I guess he has witnessed my cooking too many times?
Peter Pan
So far this morning Bryce has informed me-
1. I no like big boy bed
2. I no like big boy cups
3. I no like potty
I am now afraid he really will be my baby forever:
1. I no like big boy bed
2. I no like big boy cups
3. I no like potty
I am now afraid he really will be my baby forever:
clearly dilusional
Bryce- "I need coins, I need money" me-"umm, why?" Bryce, "I see ucky eese, Ok, OK. shoes on mommy, I see ucky eese."
No- not going to chuck e cheese.
No- not going to chuck e cheese.
go play in traffic, no really.
3 hour traffic jam with no movement!! Never thought I would actually let my kids play on the freeway, but desperate times!!
ready to get up
Bryce is yelling fire to get us up.
It is a good thing we know he only knows the ready, aim kind and not the oh, sh*t kind.
It is a good thing we know he only knows the ready, aim kind and not the oh, sh*t kind.
he knew
So, I cleaned my floors yesterday. Today Bryce spilled his juice, poured popcorn on it, then put on his shoes and stomped.
bad marketing
Dear PBS, do you understand what happens when you have ads for shows that are not coming on next or on OnDemand? If you had a 2 year old you would understand that it is evil. EVIL.
Quick, before we get caught!
Aidan come home in 2 days. That gives me 2 days to find everything Bryce has stolen from his room and desk and return it, and prevent any more theft.
oldies but goodies
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
again bleak future
emptied bryce's pockets- 4 fruit snack wrappers, a toy from his brother's desk, my necklace. All this after I caught him trying to shove cash from my purse in there.
oh helz no
"I nee offee"- Bryce, just to be clear, I promise I will never, ever give you coffee. The last thing I need is for you to have extra energy!!
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