Sunday, January 29, 2012

That, right there, is good parenting!

Just stole a couple of Bryce's French fries, he looked at me and said, "you helpings eat dinner?"
Me, "sure"
Bryce," thank you mommy. "

Tuesday, January 24, 2012


On way home from preschool, he says, "I made something for you!"
me, "you did?"
b, "yup"
me, "good!"
While I am driving, I reach back to grab the colorful paper being waved around. It is a scholastic book form.
me. "you made this?"
B, "yup, you like it?"
me, "um, I love it?"

Monday, January 23, 2012

I miss the nice monster

Right before bed, when I give him a 5 minute warning, he yells " I no go to bed, I monkey. Jungle no bed time!"

What happened to nice monster?

Please, just let me rest.

Trying to rest until I can take more meds for this stupid cold....

So that was a fail. As soon as I closed my eyes, I felt something. A plastic saw on my leg and heard the singing, "I cutting mommy"

Was scared to close my eyes again.


I am a monster! A nice monster!

Saturday, January 21, 2012

You will not infect me!!

The worst part of Bryce being sick? Following him around with clorox wipes to clean everywhere he has wiped boogers. The actual cold hasn't slowed him down at all- it may have even given him some kind of super power:P

Friday, January 20, 2012

scariest moment in my life, to date.

Up watching TV before kids are up. I hear Bryce moving around but no calls for help.
Then I heard it. The most terrifying thing ever! "eeeeeewwwwwwwww! GGGGGrrrrrrrooooooossssssss!"

So, I did what every good mom would do, I ignored it until his dad got up to take care of it:)


"Bryce, please help me clean u your toys"
"I can't my hands are cold"

Thursday, January 19, 2012


Bryce just came out of bathroom, soap pump in hand and asked for some. After a few minutes he came out again, shirtless, and soaking wet. I don't want to see what happened to the bathroom.

He is honest

Bryan, "Bryce, what are you doing with that finger in your nose?"
Bryce, "Getting the boogey out"

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

oh helz no

Yes, this title has been used, and in writing about Bryce, I am sure it will be a consistent title.

He just stole my iPhone out of my hand. I tried explaining it was mine, and I was using it. OK, so I wasn't that mature about it, but whatever, I am dealing with a 2 year old. So as I am trying to get it back, bryce looks at me and says, "relax, mom. relax."


good excuse

Go get a diaper, you stink.

No, I can't reach.

Get up and walk.

I can't, my feet are broken.

Thursday, January 12, 2012


Bryce, you can't have your "new" remote buzz lightyear on the table. It will fall off.
Bryce, put it on floor or I take it away.
Bryce, now.

"OK! dammit!"

ummm, what did you say?


that is not nice.

"oh- Ok"

yes, Santa lives in the basement

While working on cleaning the basement, I found some age appropriate toys for Bryce. We had hid them years ago when his brother out grew them. I brought up a clear tote full. Bryce walked in from school, saw the tote and yelled, "look more christmas presents for me!!"

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

again, with the survival skills

While visiting a friend, Bryce informs me he is hungry. I let him know we will go get lunch after we leave. He says, he wants chicken and french fries. No problem, we will get some on way home. He yells, "now!"
Me, " just a minute we need to say goodbye."
he disappears.
he returns with a big bag of frozen french fries from friend's freezer, hands them to me and again says, "now."

Tuesday, January 10, 2012


I am here for your every request. Either to comply or squash it, but yes, at this age that is my job. But, I will demand some level of respect in the process. I understand I wipe your poop and clean your vomit, but a please and thank you goes a long way.

So this morning as he is yelling for juice! I say, "please talk to me like I am human."
His response, "JUICE! HUMAN, I WANT JUICE!"

Monday, January 9, 2012


by the sounds of a not so tiny voice singing, "batman, luv you, batman, joker, batmaaaannnnn"
my guess is no.


Aidan has complained a few times today about crumbs on stairs. My response has been, "If the dogs don't beat me to it, I will clean it up later."

Taking Bryce to bed, I realized the crumbs were more like mountains of squished crackers on each step the entire length of the steps. Bryce sees them and says, "oh no!"
me, "what happened?"
Bryce, "I did it"
We finally work around all the potentially dangerous piles. Once in his room I notice even more "crumbs" covering his floor. When I question him, his only response is, " can't sleep in mess, clean it mommy!"

Umm, no! I sleep around his mess regularly, and as soon as he is up, the dogs will go inspect and "clean" for me.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Friday, January 6, 2012


so, while trying to nap, bryce "brushed my hair" tried opening my eyes so he could kiss the insides, and picked my nose.

on a lighter note, Bryan has taught him to say, "yes commander daddy"

Thursday, January 5, 2012


Bryce just pulled chair up to alarm box, and started pushing buttons. I am going to apologize now for the waste in tax payers dollars
just saw the story on the horrible xmas fire, Bryce looks at me and says, " they need better, get them bandaids." Sweet boy

youtube needs parental controls

Before telling ur 2 yr old he can watch one more YouTube video, make sure there is not a 2 hr option

permanent damage

Trying to put Bryce to bed at friend's house. Note to self- check closets for door opening cats. Hope he forgets and sleeps!

looking out for my future

Bryan is lighting fire, we told bryce to stay away because it hurts. He says, "hurt santa?" no bryce we turn it off when santa comes, his response, "just get him banaid"

Teaching him how to survive death by dog gas

need another job to pay for groceries

bryce realizes I can't make him nap while he is hungry. I have watched him eat half a cheese sandwich, a entire pack of easy mac, most of a hamburger bun with cheese and fruit snacks. Really? This is the opposite of most eating disorders.

valid argument

Bryce's new reason for not going to bed:
"my bed no like me, no want me. ever, ever"

doesn't appreciate the classics

So, found the one song Bryce will not dance to. Erasure, Blue Savannah. He would yell, "no stop it! STOP IT!"

love the innocence.

I guess bryce thought he had to pick what toy to keep. He kept saying "I no open that, I like dis one." Once he realized he keeps them all, "yay! I love toys! toys, toys, toys!!"

Christmas morning disappointment

First thing out of Bryce's mouth- "reindeer here!" um, no son that isn't what happens.


Darling little boys- Christmas eve is not the time to start throwing fits- I have santa's cell# and I will use it!!!

hoping to make up for the rest of year.

Santas email to boys:) Bryce is yelling I am nice! I miss you, come see me!!

good to know people

Hmm- Bryce's popularity at Kroger has gone far. He was given Xmas gift by sweet staff! But I enjoy the fact that I don't wait in line, they opened a register jjuust for us. I think I will keep him!

nothing to say

everyone has a goal

Bryce is trying to get in the TV

fair deal

bryce just came and handed me a flashlight. I said thanks, he took my phone and said, "Now it mine!" ugh...

no one is safe

"Zurg" is attacking my xmas village. Not sure I will intervene.
Bryan, "what is zurg doing to the village?"
Bryce, "sending FIRE"

nuff said

Bryce is wearing a beanie hat with propeller. And trying to fly.

arm yourselves

The revolt has been taken up a notch. The short one seems to be creating blockades throughout the house. Not even the old man in the red suit can help combat these small creatures.

too tired to remember names

It seems the short creatures have made their move. The revolt has started. The small one woke up at 3:45, the furry short ones soon joined in. They seem to share the ultimate goal of driving the adult "leaders" of the house insane so they may take over. Reinforcements are needed.


bryce just came at me with safety goggles, a toy saw and a wrench, and said, I doctor, you sicky. Umm- hellz no!

can i get an RX for that?

7 a.m. Bryce has knight's helmet and frisbee and growling at his dad. How do u bottle that kind of awesome?

can't be fooled

Bryce informed me, that is Santa at store doesn't have reindeer or a sleigh, "Dat not Santa!" hmmm.

again, a future with a toga

Just saw a pier 1 commercial, I just realized where Bryce learned the chant, "party. Party. PARTY!" he did it this morning, I was worried he found the joy on his own. Phew.

keep your friends close...

Bryce, "I no like nucrackers. Badguys, bailey need eat them."
Hmm- remind me to stay on his good side, and not leave him alone with the nutcrackers.

changing the workout

So my dance party workout turned into a slow jog when Bryce stole my iPod and I spent the next 20 minutes chasing him round in circles.
bryce is dancing in bed, can hear the crib hitting walls. Kid need valium.

can't find me

bryce is hiding from naptime. But while in his hiding spot he is yelling "no nap ever ever." He needs to work on his skills.

very busy

Bryce keeping busy. He has ornaments, action figures, Legos and various other things in his shirt.

family order

Bryan told Aidan, we are home, you are not the king. Bryce yells, "Yes, I am the King!!"
oh that boy...

raising him right

Bryce, "yay Christmas tree! I need buy stuff!" he is my kid!

not the best way to start the day

Bryce-"ow! I just fell, I all wet!" where did you fall?
"in water" what water?-
"dog pee" great.
Bryce is playing fruit ninja, tryin to record him but he keeps catching me. He is yelling, "swords, swords, swords cut apples! Hahaha!"

problem solved

Bryce has decided to dress up for christmas and make it halloween day

already such a man

Bryce's grandma asked what he was doing for thanksgiving. His answer, "eating!" at 2 he is already figuring it out, now to add the thankful part in:)

I can no longer handle Bryce's high level of productivity while I clean other rooms of the house.

it is a jungle out there

May need a new nickname for Bryce. He keeps telling me he is not a person, he is a monkey. He is getting very upset when I try to explain.


Love when Bryce yells, "aaaallllvvviiinnnn!" when ever someone says "chipmunks."
Dogs barking. When Bryce wakes up he yells, "be quiet!" hahaha.

fair fight

Bryce is trying to beat up his lego guy with a light saber.


Bryce got upset tonight, when I said I was going to see my friends. His concern was that I would see "the baby" without him. My friend with a baby watched him for me yesterday. She is now his. This is the same baby he almost strangled trying to kidnap a few weeks ago. Her dad may permanently separate them. "dat my baby, dat my girl."

don't we all

bryce, "I nee money, I nee money."
me, "why"
Bryce, "cause I nee it."
The money in question is lego money, but still:)
Put on monsters inc for bryce. Instead of him watching, he is now running around screaming, laughing and saying, "I scared u!" I am truly convinced he has no fear.

Bryce is yelling, I need toy, need go TARGET!!
Help me. please, someone help me.

how can you argue with that logic

Bryce, did you spill dog food all over the floor?
Yes- it ok, dogs eat it.

my house has been invaded

It is a twilight zone kind of night. Bryce tasted broccoli- gagged, but hey he tried. Then Aidan convinced him to eat ham and potatoes, followed by Aidan reading a book to him! If I am asleep, don't wake me!!

making mom look crazy

Every time! People think I am talking to myself.


To the geniuses who keep the howling dog outside- you dog is howling because it is cold. Take it in. I will find your number and start calling letting it ring only once every time I hear ur dog, every time my dog or kids wake up I will call until you answer and let u listen to my kid yelling and dog barking!

picky, picky

Pumpkin patch with bryce- ended up with 4 big, 3 baby- he went through all of them! The rejects were too orange, too icky and too wet:)

quick learner

Bryan- I got paid. Bryce- I get toy?!
Not sure how he related the 2, but it was funny!

don't mess with me

bailey barked, bryce jumped. Bryce walked over to bailey's ear and screamed.
Then said, "see, i scared you."

will pay for that

Bryce just said, "I wuv ur hair, berry nice." yes, I did give him chocolate for that! Haven't showered since yesterday- he knows how to work me.

the cost of illness

Bryce has been wonderful as I spent most of today on couch with sinus headache. My house may never recover, toys will probably be lost forever, but he has let me lay here.

is halloween over yet?

Friday I bought the last Captain Merica costume in Bryce's size. Today he declares he will be "crocdile" and roar bad guys and chocolate in buckit.

multiple personality disorder


talking to bryce about all things halloween, he is a scary pump(kin) and I am scary witch. Hmmm- seems fitting.

part ninja, part elephant

Bryce saw our Halloween decorations, and after a couple of "hiya" kicks he grabbed a bucket and asked for chocolate. Guess he remembers?


Bailey woke bryce up at 5. SInce then is has been almost 3 hours of crying, whining, and barking. THen there was Bryce's behavior:) Neep Nap!!
Bryce quote of the day- He asked for crackers, I asked what kind. He responded, "eat kind crackers". I guess when you ask a dumb question...

smart boy

Come home to find Bryce and Bryan frantically looking for captain America car. I hand Bryce the only one we have, not the one he wants. I tell him it is only one we have. His response- go to target.

smart boy

Come home to find Bryce and Bryan frantically looking for captain America car. I hand Bryce the only one we have, not the one he wants. I tell him it is only one we have. His response- go to target.
Bryce trying to get his backpack on, "what happening to me?!?"

long road ahead

Bryce is completely unwilling to go to the bathroom. He sat on it a few times yesterday, with the promise of candy, now he understands candy is only when he goes. He claims he "no like candy" if you have seen him eat, you know this is a lie. This is going to suck.

fashion guru

oops, Bryan just realized Bryce has another new pair of sunglasses. I can't help it, the kid is stylish. He may have as many sunglasses as Rachel Zoe.

home improvement

See, there is a manly necklace!

liberal parent

Bryce is very proud, he keeps saying, "I go school, I get tattoo!" a brief glimpse at my future. Good thing I like tattoos!

need more coffee

not even 8, bryce has already changed his shirt and is now chasing aidan with a sword.

no mrs. clever

Bryce might need a different domestic model. He is opening up his play oven yelling, " oh no! Fire in dare!" I guess he has witnessed my cooking too many times?

buy more milkbones

Bryce, putting butterfly net to use. Bet Bailey never knew how much he missed us!

Peter Pan

So far this morning Bryce has informed me-
1. I no like big boy bed
2. I no like big boy cups
3. I no like potty
I am now afraid he really will be my baby forever:

take the tag off

he got very upset the sunglasses didn't work

Daily chores

Raking a bear
Making a mess

clearly dilusional

Bryce- "I need coins, I need money" me-"umm, why?" Bryce, "I see ucky eese, Ok, OK. shoes on mommy, I see ucky eese."

No- not going to chuck e cheese.

spoiled by vacation

77 degrees outside. bryce, "oh no, what we gonna do? It cold out there."

precious silence

Bryce's leg after a few precious moments of silence. Should have known:)

Left him alone with his aunt

yes, that is him with ponytails and a hose.

go play in traffic, no really.

3 hour traffic jam with no movement!! Never thought I would actually let my kids play on the freeway, but desperate times!!

not warm enough

Bryce just puts his real dinner in his play oven

Knight in shining armor?

another career option washed away.

This is bryce's display at our yard sale. Safe to say he is probably not going into sales..

ready to get up

Bryce is yelling fire to get us up.
It is a good thing we know he only knows the ready, aim kind and not the oh, sh*t kind.

ask the wrong question...

"Bryce, did you paint your legs?"
"no, mommy, I color them"

he knew

So, I cleaned my floors yesterday. Today Bryce spilled his juice, poured popcorn on it, then put on his shoes and stomped.

bad marketing

Dear PBS, do you understand what happens when you have ads for shows that are not coming on next or on OnDemand? If you had a 2 year old you would understand that it is evil. EVIL.

Quick, before we get caught!

Aidan come home in 2 days. That gives me 2 days to find everything Bryce has stolen from his room and desk and return it, and prevent any more theft.

oldies but goodies

again with the toilet.
no, I didn't find m&ms!Look, when I pull this he screams!

Who are you calling crazy?

That was good!

Using a swiffer to help clean.